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What You Can Do
+ Get some support
+ Tell someone you trust
+ Remember you are not alone
If you are unsure whether or not you are in an unhealthy relationship, talk to somebody who can give you honest feedback (such as a counsellor, or a good friend). Chances are, if you have checked any of the items in the previous section, there may be a problem in your relationship that needs to be addressed.
Remember that emotional abuse, controlling and jealous behaviours are very often indicators of the development of hostile and violent behaviour later in the relationship.
+ Try to keep a strong suport network
+ Talk to somebody you trust, and go to a second person if the first one is not helpful.
+ Recognise that you are not responsible for your partner's behaviour. She/He needs to get help and has to take responsibility for her/his actions.
+ Consider your options: should you stay or leave? Remember that the abusive behaviour rarely changes by itself.
+ Read some self-help books (see below for suggestions)
If You Decide to Leave:
+ Evaluate your safety - will your partner be angry and perhaps violent when you decide to leave? If you fear for your safety, talk to a professional right away. Consult your physician, a counsellor, or the police for advice on staying safe.
If You Decide to Stay:
+ Get some help for yourself - don't stay silent
+ Make sure you are safe. Even if you don't believe it will ever happen, try to make a plan should your partner ever become violent towards you. What would you do to make sure you stay safe?
Your safety plan should include:
+
Knowing how to access campus security, police or a friend for support if your partner ever become violent towards you.
+ A safe place to stay
+ Emergency phone numbers that are easily accessible
+ Some money
+ Your own bank account
+ A bag of essentials that you could leave somewhere safe, should you ever need to leave in a hurry.
+ Start re-evaluating your reasons for staying
I think my friend is in an unhealthy relationship - how can I help?
+ Listen to her/him
+ Believe what she/he tells you
+ Be realistic about what you can do
+ Be supportive, don't blame her/him if she/he chooses to stay
+ Recognize that she/he did not provoke the abuse
+ Recognize that LBGT individuals face additional barriers that may deter from seeking help
+ Don't be surprised if they turn down your offer of help - leaving an unhealthy relationship can take a long time. She/He may need your ongoing support.
