How can I help my student?
Generally, parents are more involved in the lives of their children than was the case in earlier generations. Several factors have been suggested to explain this:
- Changes in child rearing practices: Parents have been making social, recreational, educational and other arrangements for their children since birth. Parents are accustomed to "arranging" and their children are accustomed to "being arranged."
- Communication is more frequent, and perhaps of different content: e-communication is 24/7, cheap, and available. This can also result in looser boundaries among people.
- The cost of university is a major investment: If parents are contributing to the education costs, they may have a feeling of responsibility in ensuring their student graduates.
The QUESTION becomes: "How can parents balance established family habits and structures with the needs of their student to separate from family and develop into an autonomous, but connected, adult?"
The ANSWER may be: "This is difficult, but occurs when parents having faith in their child's ability to learn and adapt, and also allow him/her opportunities to make decisions and manage the outcomes for himslef/herself."
Information on student development over the years at university may give you added insight into the normal growth of youth and emerging adults:
- Planning Ahead for your student's transition to university
- Tips to help the transition for their Early Days at Queen's
- How to help them Preparing for Academic Hurdles
- Information about supporting them in Extra-curricular Activities
- Common Issues in Adjusting to University
- If your student seems consistently distressed and you become worried about his/her health or well-being, express your concern by sharing with him/her what you have noted in terms of behaviour or conversation. Sometimes a few good nights of sleep, some exercise and relaxation will be enough to help your student feel "back on track". If appropriate, encourage him/her to make an appointment with a Don in residence or with Counselling Services (613-533-2506). Please remember that the Queen's policy on confidentiality prevents information from being shared with anyone without the specific consent of the student.
- Academic concerns are common when a student gets behind in their work, around mid-terms in October and February, when preparing for exams, and/or when a student receives disappointing feedback. Feelings of being overwhelmed may lead to discouragement, procrastination, and a negative spiral. The learning support services of Queen's Learning Commons are available to help undergraduate, graduate and professional students reach their academic potential.