When my homesickness began to devastate my productivity in every aspect of life in Kingston, I decided to pack my luggage and booked air tickets to home. After 15 hours’ direct flight, I finally arrived at the Hong Kong International airport, the portal of a country where its people are recognized as Chinese worldwide, where its landscape changes dramatically from year to year with highly developing economy, where I am pressured by its overpopulation, prodigious construction forests and the fast-paced lifestyle but still miss it desperately because there “my kingdom awaits” (from Diddy Dirty Money – Coming Home), no matter how far I am.
What holiday used to mean for me has changed, and is changing all the time, due to my growing experience. When I was a little kid, holiday meant tasty, sumptuous food, unbridled joy, and lucky money in red bags (especially in Chinese Spring festival); when I was a high school student, holiday meant a brief chance to take a breath from heavy school loads, or a hasty and exciting trip to somewhere beyond the living place; when I was an international student and now an international worker in Canada, holiday is desired in my imagination and reflection, where I stay with my family, listening to their trivial chatter and showing care; or hang out with friends on the path we had taken times and times when we went to school together; or just be there, be at home, being surrounded and secured by the sense of rooted belonging.
Unfortunately, holiday, at this time, also means to be a unit that could be reluctantly sacrificed when the skewed schedule favors academic and professional development. As a result, my holiday is often postponed and curtailed in order to catch up all the tasks at hand. I was not conscious of this silent sacrifice until some people showed surprise when they heard of my holiday plan in China would be less than a month. I explained to them that I need to take a test for job in Toronto after a month, and I have to come back to monitor my application of Permanent Residence, also I need to write some proposals for renowned academic conferences, and so forth. They seemed to understand me. But from that moment I become confused. How much would these worth, than my true desire and need to see my friends and family, as well as their desire and need to meet me?
The life circumstance is so contingent that I probably could not do the math. When I landed in China and saw my mom waiting for me at the door, with hot soup prepared at the table, I just want to cherish these moments, and prolong the joyfulness of the holiday in the bottom of my heart. I know I could not give up my individual strive in Canada, but when I am with them now, I want to be a good daughter, a good friend, be good enough that I will think and act with care, love, and more care.
Well, I start my holiday being a poppet, what about yours?