With the announcement of in person classes commencing by February 28th, many students will be coming back to Kingston, their home away from home, and their housemates. It may be a surprise to hear that not all housemates get along. Conflict between housemates is common, even between well established friendships. The emergence of Covid-19, the many waves and guidelines we have gone through has made shared living spaces even more challenging. Navigating the normal housemate conflicts of house cleanliness, chores, shared costs of items in the home, quiet hours, and more are already hard enough. Now add in the potential for a housemate not to follow Covid-19 restrictions and guidelines. This can lead to strained relationships, tensions in the household, and overall dissatisfaction with the living arrangements. If you find yourself in this situation, you must have a conversation with your housemates. Home is supposed to feel exactly like that, a home. Everyone should be comfortable and happy with their living arrangements. So how do you avoid this situation or deal with it once you find yourself in it?
- Selecting the right people to live with - The best way to completely avoid housemate conflicts is to ensure you are choosing the right people to live with. Finding individuals with similar mindsets, goals, interests, hobbies, and expectations for the house is critical. If you are selective with who you live with and take your time to choose the right people; you will find it much easier to live together.
- Have the conversation - If something your housemate is doing is making you feel uncomfortable or dissatisfied, you need to have the conversation with your housemates. No one enjoys a challenging conversation but if nothing is said, it can only build up and make matters worse. It is very important to have these conversations in person, virtually, or at the very least over the phone. Text and emails can often be misinterpreted, as it is impossible to hear the tone of text.
- House meetings - Establishing house meetings once a month as a normal occurrence is a great way to get everything out in the open. Rather than needing to set up a random household meeting where four month's worth of issues come out at once, having regularly scheduled meetings can help spread out concerns and bring them to the surface sooner. Make it a fun bonding event by setting traditions for the house meetings, like ordering your favourite take out or watching movies together afterwards.
- Keep it constructive and civil - When voicing a concern to your housemate(s) it is easy to let pent up frustration boil to the surface. Accusations, name calling, insults, condescending, aggressive, or sarcastic tones will only make matters worse. When you are talking about an issue, it is important to remain calm. Stay on topic, do not spiral into bringing up past events that validate your argument. Focus on voicing your concern and working together to find a solution that works for all.
- Listen - Bringing up your concerns with your housemate(s) may also give them a platform to voice their issues as well. If they also have concerns, it is important that all involved get an opportunity to be heard. If you wish to be heard, they should be too.
- Utilize the housemate resources of the OCLA website
- If the conversation doesn't work - Consider your other options depending on the situation. Consider involving your landlord if their behaviour is disrupting the other housemates. If they are not adhering to municipal guidelines and are not listening to your concerns, consider contacting the Off-Campus Living Advisor, Student Community Relations, or the City of Kingston.